Beauty

Love it is something that you can’t turn off … or on…It is there or not, in these last years it seems that it is not there for me, I try hard to make myself worthy to be loved but it is simply not happening and I think that I am coming to the therms that it is ok…there are people like me that simply are meant to be alone. Don’t take this wrong I am not playing the victim, when I am alone I never feel lonely, when I am not alone it always comes in that uncomfortable feeling that instead…I am. People stays in couple for many reasons that I don’t understand for real, I never get when I see those messages that says “you complete me” I am complete and I have enough flaws for other 10 people, so no I am not searching for someone that has flaws that I don’t have as well as I know my qualities and I like them the way they are, I am what I am it is too late to change. Right now my knees are shaking while I am thinking at when I will miss you really bad and you will be not be there for me and I will not be able to be there for you and it will be someone else to listen at your dreams and your projects and try to help you …or not. I tried hard, I gave you my life, but it is something that you don’t know what to do with, cause it’s full and empty at the same time. There is a dimension of your thinking that I will never have and it’s unbearable…but it is what it is and I whish you to find the happyness that I failed to give you.
What hurts the most is that it will be someone else to watch you sleeping with their heart exploding for you.

 

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